I walk slow as hell
LOL I’m the biggest bitch when it comes to crossing the road when cars are waiting for me. But I swear, if anyone tries to pull that shit with me when I begin to drive, I will run their ass over.
mom sent you home with a box of donuts to share...
run to your room and eat all of them.
i think all those facts about how ‘when you think about someone, they’re thinking about you too’ were just made up to make people feel less shitty about just how lonely they really are.. ‘cause i seriously doubt that he thinks about me as often as i think about him.
trying to be seductive
friend:”you know what i want from you babe….” me:”i know exactly what you want” friend:”do you? do you really?” me:”yes. say it. say it out loud.” friend:”a pencil” this guy. i cannot. omg.
friend: i’m gonna go on that thing… uhm… tumbler me: you will never understand the complexity that it is.
girls: Omg i wanna kiss in the rain so r0mantic!!!!11!!1
me: fuq kissing in the rain i'm black i just got my harr did
mom: yeah, that's definitely the reason 8-)
me: *sobb* my own mother...
my parents: you're beautiful honey
old people: i bet all the boys are chasing after you already
boys: ew what is that creature